


Cultivation x and x Communication

by cloudcraft



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Action/Adventure, Aged-Up Character(s), Drug Use, Gen, M/M, Relationship Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-12 08:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4472930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudcraft/pseuds/cloudcraft
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So, did he mention what exactly you needed a partner for?"<br/>"Ah, well.."<br/>"Sounds about right." Killua sighed. "All he had to say was that it was too dangerous for the other gourmet hunters and you were raring to go, right?" </p><p>Gon begins a brief apprenticeship with the gourmet hunters of the Association. When a job in the East Kakin jungle calls for a little more danger than usual, only one name comes to mind. Set 3 years after the Elections Arc.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cultivation x and x Communication

**Author's Note:**

> Adventure boys!!

"Oniichan, somebody's paging us. Guess who!" 

"It's Gon, isn't it." 

Alluka looked up from the pager, smiling. 

"You always know when it's Gon, don't you?" She leaned across the hotel bed to toss him the small pager. Killua rolled over and caught it with one hand and flipped the small text readout up. While less convenient than a cell phone, the pager was virtually untraceable by Milluki or Illumi. It could only accomodate a couple dozen alphanumeric characters per transmission, but Gon's were relatively simple: [Hi, Alluka! Hi, Nanika! Killua, call me!] 

"Only because of the way you ask whenever it's him." Killua got up from his bed and tossed the pager back to her, smiling wryly at his sister's stubborn grin. "I'll be right back, I think there's a payphone down the block. Think you can stay focused on your homework that long?" 

"You promise we'll play cards when I'm done?" 

"When we're both done," Killua corrected. "And yes. Make sure she doesn't get distracted, Nanika."

"'Kay!" Nanika chirped.

 

There was a light summer drizzle on the streets but not enough to warrant an umbrella. Killua flipped up his hood and made his way down to the payphone booth, where he swiped an old phone card and dialed Gon's number from memory. The ringing tone barely had a chance to sound before Gon picked up. 

"Hi, Killua!" The payphone was possibly more of a relic than his pager and it made Gon's voice sound fuzzy through the receiver. It still brought an involuntary smile to his face to hear it. 

"Hey, Gon. What's up?" 

"Are you and Alluka somewhere safe?" Gon's habitual first question. Even after three years of no incidents and multiple face-to-face meetings between the three of them, there was no such thing as "too careful" with Illumi Zoldyck. Killua wouldn't even come to the phone if there was any cause for worry, but Gon still asked.

"Yeah, we're fine. Alluka's almost done with her remote coursework for the semester. How's your initiation into gourmet hunting so far?" 

"It's going great! Miss Linne almost said something to me yesterday and that was pretty exciting. Actually, that's kind of why I'm calling. Do you think you could make some time to come to Kakin to help me out with a hunt?" 

Killua pursed his lips, leaning his back against the wall of the phone booth. On one hand, Kakin was halfway across the world from where they were now. On the other hand, Alluka had been bothering him about visiting some friends she made last time they were in Ochima. Once she finished her work for the semester, Killua had been planning on taking her there. Plus, it would be a good chance for her to practice operating covertly on her own. As much as he hated to admit it, he had a feeling that Alluka wanted a little more independence than she'd let on to him. 

There was also the little prickle of excitement than ran under his skin at the thought of going on a hunt with Gon. 

"I don't know, it's pretty far.." Killua trailed off, as if he hadn't already made up his mind. 

" _Please_ , Killua? Buhara said I needed a partner and right away, I knew: it has to be you!" 

Killua snorted, folding his arms and trying not to let his smirk show in his voice.

"So, did he mention what exactly you needed a partner for?" 

"Ah, well.." 

"Sounds about right." Killua sighed. "All he had to say was that it was too dangerous for the other gourmet hunters and you were raring to go, right?" 

"Killua," Gon whined. He sounded twelve again when he did that. "Buhara said he'd send me the hunt details in the morning. The only requirement is that we get it before Menchi's birthday in six week's time." 

A birthday present from Buhara to Menchi, huh? The chances of Alluka insisting that he take the hunt skyrocketed. 

"Alright, forward the details to one of the dummy email addresses once you get them. I'll call back tomorrow." 

"Okay, yeah! Bring Alluka with you too, I want to say hi!" Killua could hear the bright smile in Gon's tone, even with the poor call quality. "Wait, does that mean you say yes? Oh man, this is going to be awesome--!" 

"Talk to you tomorrow, Gon," Killua interrupted, laughing. His amusement must have been contagious because Gon laughed as well. 

"Good night, Killua!"

 

Kakin was hot. Killua dressed down from his usual long sleeves and he still felt like his skin was going to melt clean off. The cafe where they agreed to meet was only marginally cooler than outside, offering mere shade and open windows instead of air conditioning. Glancing around the room, it seemed that most of the other patrons opted to cover their shoulders despite the heat in this region. In a rural town of mostly children and old people, a dressed-down eighteen-year-old stood out. Not that it mattered since they'd be leaving for the jungle soon enough. Killua fanned himself idly with a menu, keeping one eye on the door for Gon.

At a single vibration from his pocket, Killua whipped out his pager immediately. On the little readout was a message from Alluka: [Having fun w/ friends. Stay safe!] Killua exhaled and slipped it back into his pocket. It made him uncomfortable to be in a different country from his sister, but Alluka had made incredible strides in her nen practice lately. She'd begun to shape her own en and her zetsu was just as good as any Zoldyck's. Plus, he had asked Palm to keep an eye on her for as long as he was away. There was no reason to be worried, he repeated to himself. 

He sensed Gon coming and shook himself free from his thoughts. 

"Thinking about something?" Gon asked, coming up beside his table. He wore a different set of clothes than the last time they had met. (Last year? It was a wonder that the previous set had lasted so long.) Like Killua, he opted for a sleeveless shirt over long pants. Unlike Killua, but typical to his style, he tucked his pants into a pair of sturdy boots. 

"Nothing in particular," Killua said. Gon wasn't sitting down, so Killua downed the rest of his drink. 

"You didn't bring Alluka with you." Gon's tone wasn't questioning, just a little disappointed.

"She's doing her own thing. Ready to get going?" Killua pushed back his chair and dropped a few spare bills on the table for his drink. 

"Yeah, we can make it to the site before noon if we hurry." Gon flexed his fingers with a half-manic grin. "Is two hours too long to make it a race?" 

"You're kidding, right?" Killua punched him lightly in the shoulder as they made their way to the door. "More like, is two hours too long for you to spend losing a race?"

They traded casual swipes and jibes all the way from the cafe to the edge of town, laughing and sizing up one another the way they did after each long absence. Every time, it took a while to fall back into the rhythm of being near one another. Every time, it was very slightly different. Killua noticed that even the way that Gon carried himself had changed, although he doubted he could describe the difference into words.

Gradually, they synchronized themselves to one another until it was time to move. The moment they stepped out the main gates of the city, they launched into a dash and disappeared into the brush. 

 

Diving between trees and jumping over rocks and roots, Killua found that he couldn't keep a grin off his face. It had been a while since he had run like this, the wind whipping his hair back and drying his eyes. Even the small twigs and brambles scraping at his skin were a welcome reminder of his body's capacity for sensation. Nearby, he could see the delight clear on his friend's face. Gourmet hunters were fully-fledged hunters in their own right, but they both knew that Gon martially outclassed nearly all of them. It had been a while since he had a chance to run with somebody of his own caliber. 

With a swift duck under a low-hanging branch, Killua felt a pang of guilt sink into his gut. It was one thing to come out on a favor for Gon, but this wasn't where he belonged. If Illumi were to find Alluka while he was enjoying himself out here, what kind of brother did that make him? 

"You're making that face again," Gon hollered through the trees. Killua's eyes snapped to the right to acknowledge Gon, then back to the path. 

"You're going to run into something if you're watching me instead of where you're going." Killua couldn't help but huff a bit. Gon just laughed and altered his trajectory, coming in close beside Killua. To avoid running into Gon or obstacles while maintaining their speed, Killua had to keep his movements even tighter. It took extra concentration, but not that much. Running nearly side-by-side was almost like his first time taking the Hunter exam.

"You mentioned how Alluka's doing, but not how you're doing." Gon increased the power in each of his strides, taking longer lunges over the jungle floor. Killua matched him. 

"Alluka's good, so I'm good. Not much going on with me except figuring out where our next destination is." 

"Really? That doesn't sound like you." Gon's eyes were fully focused on him again, somehow avoiding any collisions. "You're always growing and doing new things. Even when we were kids, you figured out your hatsu way ahead of me, remember?" 

That was when we were thirteen, things are different now, Killua almost said. Instead he pressed his lips together and let the sounds of the forest rush between them, pushing the dead silence far behind them. He shrugged and said the next best thing:

"Yeah, maybe. Speaking of which, how's your Jajanken coming along lately? Is Paper up to a decent size?" 

If Gon noticed him brushing off the subject, he didn't show it. The conversation moved into an animated discussion of Gon's recent nen applications with the gourmet hunters, like using his Scissors to chop vegetables. Killua felt a weight lift from his shoulders and vanish into the breeze.

 

The jungle spanned a wide swath of east Kakin, serving as a natural cutoff point for the agricultural communities in the area. There were a few places in the jungle that could be adapted to cultivate crops, but many of the surrounding sectors were designated wildlife preserves. The hassle of transporting supplies through or around those restricted areas rendered it too troublesome and expensive.

Partway through the jungle, a series of rocky cliffs jutted out to form a lush green mountain range, strewn with waterfalls large and small. Above the cliffs lay a scattering of valleys and plateaus with small patches of arable land. While the land was fit for growing native crops, it was also nearly unreachable. On the other hand, for certain people and ventures, these conditions were ideal. 

The deeper they advanced into the jungle, the more humid the air became. Killua could feel his tank top sticking to his skin and was thankful for the breathability of his shoes. He could only imagine the swamp forming in Gon's boots. 

The cliffs rushed up to meet them faster than expected. What had seemed relatively small in the distance was suddenly right in front of them, towering and massive. For what it was worth, Killua placed his hands on the rock face half a second before Gon did. They shared a short-of-breath high five, then turned their eyes up to the impending climb. The rock face was steep, but offered plenty of handholds in the form of jagged rock and foliage. Both of them mentally mapped their version of the most efficient route. Killua squinted into the bright blue above the cliffs and wiped his forehead with the back of his palm. Gon pulled the hem of his tank top up to mop his brow. 

"How are we doing on time?" Killua asked.

At Killua's question, Gon glanced up towards the sun. Did he even own a watch? 

"I think we have another thirty minutes before we need to be in place," Gon said, letting his shirt fall back over his belly. 

"Right. Let's do this in one go, then?"

Gon responded by launching himself onto the wall, grabbing onto the highest holds that he could reach from the ground. His boots collided firmly with the rock beneath him, scrambling for a moment before they found purchase. Dislodged fragments of dirt rained down beneath him and Killua laughed, hopping up onto the cliff face in pursuit. 

In contrast to his overpowered mounting of the rock, Gon moved with measured, deliberate movements. His eyes scanned the holds available and once he selected his next move, he committed his whole body to it. Killua, in contrast, climbed like his limbs were made of water. He arced his arms out to find his next hold, then swung his hips around to follow like he weighed nothing at all. His family had taught him the core principles of climbing when he was fairly young: keep your weight low, arms straight, breathe deep. He took to it better than any of his siblings had, unsurprisingly. Gon did the same things, just differently. 

"Where did you learn how to climb?" Killua called over to him, taking a short breather and hanging from a firm hand hold. A few meters to his right, Gon began to hang as well, shaking one arm out behind him to revive the aching muscle. 

"Watching monkeys on Whale Island," Gon said, making an apish grin. "Plus falling down a lot."

Figures, Killua thought. He shook out his arms one at a time, then resumed his ascent.

Gon placed his fingers over the edge of the top first, but Killua was the first to get his feet up. Once he cleared the top, Killua swiveled around to gloat and watch Gon come up behind him. Using a tree root that extended out over the drop, Gon hefted himself up onto the plateau. Seeing Killua's smirk, Gon pursed his lips in dissatisfaction. The complaint regarding the true winner of their race was clearly on the tip of his tongue, but his eyes drifted behind Killua and he let his mouth fall open in awe. 

"Wow," was all he said. 

Killua turned to follow his gaze and took in the broad expanse of green that coated the mountaintop plateaus. The ground sloped down again beyond the nearest ridge, creating a series of small valleys. The air was less humid at this elevation and a cool breeze brushed lovingly at his back. In the distance, he could make out a few buildings through a clearing in the trees—their destination. His muscles were still protesting the abuse from the long climb, but something else in his body propelled him forward. 

"Almost there," Gon breathed. They took off running again. 

 

The large, bushy trees around the circumference of the compound provided the perfect cover for two plucky intruders. Killua and Gon found a densely shaded spot in the branches of a tree near the crop fields at the back of the grounds. Gon fished a pair of binoculars out of his backpack and leaned out to get a better angle. Without thinking about it, Killua reached out and put a hand around Gon's torso to steady him. Gon settled against Killua's hand to find the perfect observation point. 

"It looks like they're still on their first rotation, just like Buhara said. I think we can get a full ten minutes to sneak in there if we do this right." When Gon spoke with Killua's hand steadying him, Killua could feel his voice reverberating through his ribs.

"Can I take a look?" Killua asked. Gon shifted his weight back and the two of them swapped places. Killua didn't need Gon to support him to get a good vantage point, but he let him do it anyways.

The compound consisted of a few simple dwellings, a wide spread of heavily guarded crop fields, a set of gleaming silos, and a single refinery. The organization reminded him of the underground operations in the former NGL and it turned his stomach. But rather than crime lords or chimera ants patrolling the paths between the fields, the denizens of this compound were comparatively ordinary. They moved solemnly and wore long beige robes with face-shrouding hoods. Focusing in on one of the closer robed figures, Killua realized that they weren't even wearing shoes. 

"Barefoot? Man, I'll never understand cultists," he sighed. He felt Gon shift a bit as he pulled Buhara's files from his backpack.

"It says that The Children of the Earth don't wear any footwear that would break the link between them and the soil," Gon read aloud. "But the soles of their feet are tough and they can run at superhuman speeds when under the influence of the Heart Root." 

"We can already do that," Killua pointed out. He shifted the view of the binoculars to the fields. There were about a dozen of them, half of which were sown with clover to restore the land, the other half of which were sown with a delicate green crop, curled gently around bamboo stakes. Little bunches of white flowers grew at the ends of their fine stems. At a distance they looked like little motes of light hovering around the field. These were Heart Roots, the rare spice that Buhara had sent them to collect. 

"Don't see why they're called the Heart Root," Killua said, passing the binoculars back to Gon. "Shouldn't they be red?" 

"It says here when you eat too much of it, it can cause heart failure. That's why they smoke it in their ceremonies, to cut down on the risk while still getting the benefits." 

Killua frowned, looking back down at the compound. He'd read the same file when Gon sent it to him, so he knew exactly what the Heart Root did. When smoked or cooked, it amplified the body's natural senses for a short period of time, including nen faculties. If used by a master chef, Heart Root was one of the most exquisite spices in the culinary world. However, it had to be prepared carefully or the body would crash in the aftermath, sometimes severely enough to cause sudden death. The risk was even higher when ingested raw. 

Because it could only be grown in the Kakin jungle highlands and the cultists guarded the most potent strains known, it was extremely difficult to find and nearly impossible to harvest fresh—that is, without going straight to the private crops of the Children of the Earth. But there were fifty trained nen users in this compound alone, all more than willing to make use of their sacred Heart Root to protect it.

"And stealing from them is fine?" Killua wasn't surprised that Gon didn't care, but it was strange that Buhara was encouraging his larceny. 

"This land used to belong to the locals, before the cultists drove them out. We don't have to feel bad."

"Ah. The file did say that these guys are pretty nuts. I saw the reports of the mysterious disappearances in the area." Killua folded his legs beneath him, careful not to jostle the tree branch. "You mentioned something about a plan."

Gon smiled and reached into his bag again, carefully withdrawing a small notebook. He opened it to the middle pages and inside lay a pressed plant, thin-stemmed with white flowers. It was old and dried, but unmistakably a Heart Root. 

"Buhara taught me how to harvest them. You can't shock them or yank them, or they'll break. And he wants full stems for his recipe. You dig out the soil around it and pull here--" He pointed to a spot just above the roots. "-- _very_ , very gently. Then you store it carefully or the flower petals will scatter and the filaments will dry." Gon pulled another artifact from the Bottomless Backpack. "He gave me this humidity-controlled capsule to keep them safe until we get back to the rendezvous point." 

"Ten minutes should be plenty of time, if we can distract the cultists away from the fields." Killua said, taking the storage capsule when Gon handed it to him. 

"Yeah, they're towards the end of their first patrol shift, so they should be tired. That'll give me an advantage." Gon packed up his binoculars, notebook, and files again, hefting his backpack over his shoulders. He still held the dried Heart Root gingerly between his fingers. 

"Wait a second, _your_ advantage?" Killua raised a brow. 

"Yeah, you're better with your hands and you move faster than me. Plus, your hair blends right in with the flowers." Gon beamed. "So you'll harvest the crops while I go blow up their silos."

"What, and deal with all fifty drugged-out cultists by yourself?" 

"Yeah!" Gon's eyes flicked up towards the sky and he grinned. "It's about time. Meet you back by the ridge, Killua!" 

And with that, Gon popped the dried Heart Root in his mouth and leapt off from the tree branch. Killua stared wide-eyed at Gon's receding back. All manner of obscenities sprang to mind. While he wanted to run after his substance-abusing best friend and punch him square in the face, the clock was already running. Gon would only be able to maintain himself for a handful of minutes before he crashed, including the time he needed to escape. In that window, Killua needed to get down there and harvest the Heart Root or their entire journey would have been for nothing.

He could hear Gon's voice echoing out across the compound.

"First comes rock..!!"

A massive explosion at the first silo sent tremors through the ground, scattering birds from the treetops and sending the cultists on the ground into a frenzy. The patrol guards snapped their robed heads back towards the silos, some of them even screaming out in rage. Before they sprang into action, Killua could see them taking out small pipes from their robe pockets and lighting them near their hoods. 

Well, at least Gon wasn't going to be bored. 

Once the fields were clear, Killua fortified his zetsu and shot down to the fields like a bullet. There was a chance that one of the cultists would search the area with en, so he had to move quickly. Unlike the dried sample, the blooming Heart Roots had a slight glow to them, as if they possessed their own nen. Crouching down beside them, he could see a light red vein running through the translucent stems. The name suddenly made more sense. 

Following Buhara's instructions, he dug out the roots and popped the plant out from the ground with a light tug, careful to keep the petals from scattering. It was delicate work, like Gon said, but Killua fell into a rhythm quickly. The increasingly loud explosions and screaming from the other side of the compound helped to keep him on task. If the explosions were persisting, that meant that Gon was still in the compound, not drawing the cultists away yet. How long could he keep going without crashing? He wondered if it was even necessary for Gon to take the Heart Root too, or if he just did it because he could.

"Ah--!" He tore a little too violently at one of the stems, ripping it clean in two. Tossing it aside, Killua grit his teeth. This was stupid. Why didn't he make Gon go over the plan more thoroughly before they arrived? Either one of them could have been the decoy, it didn't have to be Gon. Killua didn't even have the chance to agree with the plan because Gon had never asked. 

He tore another plant in half and paused, watching the red vein fade and dry out in a matter of milliseconds. He took a deep breath. At some point, the explosions had stopped. It was only a matter of time before the cultists came back to check on the fields and he needed to be gone by then. Forcing his mind to be still, he worked swiftly and methodically to harvest as many plants as he could. He tried not to think about whether or not Gon had escaped, or whether his body had already given out somewhere in the jungle. 

His body tensed up as he sensed the cultists heading back towards the fields, more quickly than he expected. Finishing up his last harvest, he snapped the storage capsule shut and tucked it under his arm. Praying that the soft lining would cushion the contents, he took off at top speed back towards the trees. Once back under jungle cover, he dissolved his zetsu and electrified his aura immediately, setting off for the ridge with Godspeed. 

Gon better be there, he better fucking be there, he repeated to himself. He sped up the slope leading back to the ridge and crested it to find the plateau completely empty. 

Killua swore fiercely and nearly threw the storage capsule off the cliff. Only a vague sense of duty kept him in check, his anger bubbling just short of boiling over. He whirled around several times, sending out his aura to search for Gon. He had no idea what direction Gon had used to escape from the compound, so he could be anywhere in the jungle, face-down and burned out and completely vulnerable to those psychotic cultists. 

Like a flash of lightning, he sensed something moving extremely fast from the north. He'd scarcely turned around to face that direction when Gon burst out onto the ridge, skidding to a stop nearby. His body looked hot, and not just from the sun and exertion. It almost looked as if his skin was steaming, to say nothing of his wildly fluctuating aura. 

"Hey Killua," Gon panted. "Sorry I'm late. Did you get a bunch of the Heart Root?"

"Who cares about that, what were you thinking?" Killua stomped over to him, throwing his arms up in frustration. 

"I think I got a little carried away," Gon laughed, slightly breathless. 

"You barely even recovered your nen a few years ago and you still thought it'd be a good idea to take a nen-enhancing drug?" Killua smacked his forehead into his free hand, groaning. "Did you just bring me along so you'd have an excuse to do something stupid? Do you only pull these things if you can give me a heart attack at the same time?" 

Gon frowned and started to raise his voice in return.

"I didn't think you'd get so mad—" 

"You didn't even ask!" 

"Well technically it wasn't the first time I've taken it.."

Killua couldn't even compose of a response to that, he just groaned again and tried not to tear out his hair. 

"Killua, careful with the capsule. That's Buhara's—" Gon's voice hardened and he swiped the storage capsule from Killua's hand and began to cradle it to his chest. But as he withdrew his arms, the rest of his energy seemed to dissipate into the air and his legs went limp. Gon fell straight backwards, his eyes fluttering shut. Killua had enough presence of mind to lunge forward and catch him before his head hit he ground. They almost looked like they were dancing. 

"Idiot," Killua murmured, setting him down gently. 

 

Descending the cliff face took more time than ascending it. First, slow descents were always more time consuming. Second, Killua had to carry both Gon's limp body and his backpack. Occasionally Gon mumbled something incoherent against Killua's earlobe and he felt his anger soften, then got angry all over again. That alone made the climb down feel even longer than it already was. 

Once they were in the jungle lowlands again, Killua took off at a brisk pace with Gon still on his back. The posture brought back more bad memories that he forced back down like foul medicine. He tried to recall happier times of carrying Alluka on his back, but remembering his sister made it even worse. It was hard to believe that he'd left her behind for this.

He was about halfway back to town when Gon stirred on his back, first squeezing Killua's shoulders then pushing himself off from them. 

"About time you woke up," Killua said, letting Gon slide off his back. Gon landed unsteady on his feet, but recovered his balance quickly. He stuck his tongue out and gagged, pinching his nose up like he'd smelled something rotten. 

"Man, I forgot what a horrible aftertaste there is." He spat out a wad of saliva on the ground, as if that would clear his mouth, before he noticed Killua glowering at him. He wiped off his mouth with the back of his hand and sighed. "We should probably talk, huh." 

They found a patch of shade beneath a tree with broad, smooth leaves. Gon settled onto a knotted root and Killua sat down on a narrower root across from him. When Killua wouldn't quite meet Gon's gaze, the latter cleared his throat and started. 

"I'm sorry that I used the Heart Root back there. I didn't know that you would get so mad."

"Isn't that natural?" Killua pulled one foot up onto the root, hugging his leg with his arm and resting his cheek against his knee. "The file said that it messes up your body and your nen if you use it wrong. I just thought it was stupid, since you just fixed your nen and you probably didn't need it anyways."

"I actually tried it once before, back when I was experimenting with ways to get my nen back." Gon tugged absently at his boot laces as he talked. "So I wanted to see how it would work now that I'm normal again."

"...So how was it?"

Gon looked up and met his gaze, eyes gleaming. 

" _Really_ fun," he said. "But kind of weird and maybe not a good idea. I probably won't do it again. You won't always be there to carry me back." Gon smiled, but Killua averted his gaze and said nothing. Gon leaned forward and tried to catch Killua's eyes again. 

"Hey, Killua," he said. "You're still mad at me.” Killua said nothing. Gon tried again: “Okay, I'll definitely never take the Heart Root again." 

"That's not it," Killua said, sighing. "I wish you would've told me. About the root, about you being the decoy, everything. When you go off the rails like that, it makes me wonder why you called me in the first place." He lowered his voice at that last part, all but hiding his face in embarrassment. 

Gon looked flabbergasted.

"But Killua—I can only do that stuff _because_ it's you. I couldn't do anything like that with the other Hunters." He stopped fidgeting with his laces, his full attention focused on Killua. "I thought you would tell me if I did something you didn't like."

It was Killua's turn to be speechless. It wasn't just the drug operation and carrying Gon, this whole day was a nightmare revival of the days in East Gorteau when they were fourteen. No matter what Gon did, Killua had never been able to come clean and tell him how he felt about it. The pressure he felt to be a good friend made it impossible. 

It was thanks to Alluka's influence that Killua was able to put it behind him and move forward at all. With her reassurance that he did the best he could, he had been able to see Gon again and spend time together without losing himself to bitterness. But were they really back to square one, after all this time? Was that the price they paid for being so absent from each other's lives?

A sarcastic reply bubbled up in his throat and he faced Gon to let it out, only to be met with an unexpected expression on his friend's face. Gon's words were clueless and childish, but his countenance was the opposite. His eyes were patient and soft, waiting for Killua's response with complete openness. Gon was listening earnestly and Killua was on the verge of throwing that sincerity back in his face. 

And it occurred to him that maybe Gon wasn't the only one who had failed to communicate properly over the past few years. 

Killua relaxed his shoulders and let his bent leg fall to the ground, facing his friend with nothing between them. 

"I'm not psychic, I need to know what you're thinking sometimes," he said. "You're my best friend, you know? It hurts when you run off without me." 

Gon nodded slowly, taking in each of Killua's words. The jungle, so wild with noise, seemed to go quiet around them. After a long pause he spoke. 

"I think I understand. I think because being around you is so natural, I feel like I know what you're thinking too. Like how I know what climbing path you'll choose or how much you hold back so I can keep pace with you. But that's wrong, I don't really know what you're thinking." 

Gon had been staring straight at him for so long, it was almost overwhelming. Perhaps Gon caught on to his embarrassment, because he lifted some of his intensity and produced a bright grin in its place.

"From now on, I'll tell you, Killua. I'll tell you everything and I'll ask you everything. You better get ready, okay?" Gon leaned over and took Killua's hand, hooking their pinky fingers together. "I promise." 

Killua felt his face flush and he looked away quickly, at anything but Gon's smile. But like a magnet, it drew him back. He laughed despite himself. 

"Yeah," he managed. "I'd like that a lot." 

They pressed their thumbs together. 

 

They walked the remainder of the distance back to the village, taking the time to enjoy the wildlife of the jungle now that they weren't passing by at breakneck speeds. Gon pointed out a bright blue tropical bird with a white plume and razor-sharp talons. He insisted that it looked like Killua, which earned him a cuff on the shoulder. Gon winced at the punch, his body still suffering from the aftereffects of the Heart Root. 

"What a hassle for some stupid spice," Killua said, rolling his eyes. "No meal can be worth that much trouble." 

"Mm, I think it is," Gon said. "Menchi and Buhara are always together but they don't talk much, you know? I think making this dish is his way of talking to her." 

"And telling her what?" Killua raised an eyebrow, more in anticipation of what Gon would say than curiosity about Buhara. Gon pondered that for a moment, then shrugged. 

"I don't know," he said. "You're the same, Killua. You sometimes don't say what you're thinking. I can tell but I don't want to pry. You've got your secrets and I know there's a good reason." 

"It's not like that," Killua said, frowning. "I trust you. But there's some things I don't talk to Alluka about either."

"Like what you've been thinking about since this morning?" Gon asked. Killua started at that, looking at Gon in surprise. Gon laughed. "Just because I can't read your mind doesn't mean I can't read your face, Killua." 

Killua sighed, letting his shoulders sag. This was one of the consequences of demanding that Gon be more direct with him, he supposed. He took a deep breath and unlatched a long-shut box inside him. It came open more easily than he expected.

"I love Alluka. I love traveling with her, but I know I'm missing out on lots of other things. Things with you, with our friends.. And I know I could be getting much stronger if I found new ways to push myself. But when my main goal is her safety, I can't think about those things. And I feel bad for wanting it anyways. I feel worse because I think she knows." 

Killua's mouth hung open for a brief moment, but he shut it when he realized that he had nothing more to say. The thoughts in his head had seemed so jumbled and chaotic, but they became surprisingly simple when he put them into words. 

"I don't think Alluka would feel good about you feeling bad," Gon said.

"Yeah, I know. It's easy to think so but hard to believe it." 

Gon nodded sagely, hmming in agreement. Killua snorted and crossed his arms.

"But what do you know, you just do what you want all the time," Killua said, perhaps a bit sharper than was necessary. But Gon just blinked wide-eyed at him. 

"That's not true," Gon said. "I want to be with you all the time, but I only call when it's really important." 

"You what??" Killua had to unfold his arms but could only express so much incredulity with gesture. "I hadn't seen you for a year before today!" 

"Leorio said that I would stress us both out if I asked to see you too much," Gon grumbled, kicking a pebble. Killua opened his mouth to protest, but shut it when he realized that Leorio was probably right. Who could say if this conversation could have happened a few years ago. 

"Anyways," Gon went on. "You should talk to Alluka about it. Maybe she's got things that she hasn't been able to say to you either." 

Killua recalled the way Alluka smiled at him when he left her in Ochima, the way she squeezed his hand firmly and made him promise that he'd enjoy himself. Maybe rather than Killua waiting for Alluka to be ready for independence, she had been waiting for him. 

"Yeah. I think I will," Killua said. 

 

The weather in Ochima was far more manageable than in Kakin, but it was still too hot to cram two people into a single phone booth. Killua stood outside the glass booth with his hands in his pockets, watching Alluka twirl the phone cord around her index finger as she spoke. He could hear her voice through the door, although he couldn't hear anything on the other end of the line. Every now and then, something through the receiver would make her burst into giggles that echoed off the walls and wrapped her in a sonic cocoon of delight. That sight was the most that Killua had loved his sister that day. 

"Yeah, I had a good time too. My friends didn't think they'd ever see me again, so they were pretty surprised," Alluka said. "But the main reason I'm calling is to thank you. I got to have a good talk with Oniichan last night and he said that it's because you helped him be honest with himself. So.. thank you." 

Killua had to retract his former decision immediately. _That_ was the most that he had loved his sister that day. 

"Mhm. .. Yeah. .. Yeah, I think so too. .. Okay, one second." Alluka opened the phone booth door and poked her head out, waggling the handset. "Gon says that he wants to talk to you."

Killua swapped places with his sister and put the receiver to his ear. 

"Hey," he said. 

"Hey," Gon said. This payphone was clearer and Gon's voice sounded warm and rich.

"You wanted to talk to me?" Killua asked. 

"I actually just wanted to hear your voice," Gon confessed. Killua snorted and turned so that Alluka didn't see him turn pink. "So is everything cleared up with Alluka?" 

"The three of us still need to figure some things out, but yeah. We're going to take it one step at a time and see how it goes. I'll give you more details in person next time I see you." 

"That's great," Gon said. "That's really great. I'm so happy for all of you." 

There was a moment of dead air before Gon spoke up again. 

"Hey Killua?" 

"What's up." 

"Do you think you could see me... soon?" 

A slow, tender smile curled onto Killua's face. 

"How does next week sound?"


End file.
